FINDING YOUR BIRTH FAMILY
Discovering your birth parents, sisters, brothers, aunts, and uncles can be one of the greatest discoveries of your lifetime. It is the knowning who you are and from whom you came into this world. It can give you an idea as to what life may have been like had you not been placed for adoption.
Besides knowning your natural family, discovering your gnentic background can be a big help in preventing or preparing for genetic deceases and other physical and mental traits.
While there is great anticipation and joy in learning about a lifetime of history about your natural family — and them learning about you — one must also be prepared for the unexpected. Your natural family may either welcome you with open arms, totally reject you, or behave anywhere in between. Rejection should not be a reason to avoid this journey in self discovery.
In this section, we provide basic information on starting your search to find your birth family for medical records and to connect with blood lineage.
Starting Your Search
Agencies
While you can search on your own using public records which may at times seem not so public. Going through all the red tape can de discouraging. Many former residents of St. Joseph's Village have the advantage that much of the adoptions in the North Jersey area were handled by agencies of the Roman Catholic Church. For a few hundred dollars they will gather all the information you already have including your own identification.
They will perform a search and make a non-identifying written report on what they find. This report most likely will contain a brief summary about the circumstances of your being placed for adoption, medical information, and other information on their professions and other lifestyle profiles. If at that time you want to arrange a reunion, the agency will have both you and one or more of them sign a waver giving the agency permission to exchange contact information.
At that point you are free to make contact. The best scenario is for them to be calling you on the phone nearly at the same time as you are to call them. You and your birth family will have a lifetime of things to talk about. And several visits and family get togethers will be in order. But don't expect too much and take it slow and carefully. They still need their privacy and independence. This could grow into a lifelong bond of friendship and a new understanding about yourself and your heritage.
Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Newark
Adoption Services - Domestic Adoptions
499 Belgrove Dr., Suite 2
Kearny, NJ 07032-1601
(201) 246-7378, (201) 991-3770
Webpage of Catholic Charities that deals with adoption and birth familyreunions
Search and Reunion Services include the provision of non-identifying background information for adoptees and their birth families; provision of non-identifying background information on adoptive home for birth parents; search services for adoptees, birth parents, and the adoptive parents; arrangement of reunions among adoptees, birth parents and adoptive parents; and pre- and post-reunion counseling. Read beyond first paragraph of the web page for specifics.
More Resources to be Added in the Future
We are seeking to greatly expand this much needed section.
At this time this section is in need of expanding. We need to add more links to websites related to adoption services and resources, and an article on how to prepare for a reunion with birth family and what to expect. If you are interested in helping us with the research, please contact: jimbrown@optisonics.com